Stephen Hawking

Dear Johnny Cash, I'm a 43 year old man who wants to wear black leather while crossing the Nevada desert on foot with my hair dyed black and loaded with grease as my facial skin burns bright red in the mid summer sun. This is my goal. Why, do you ask? Because of women, that's why. They have given me no choice. It is just too damn frustrating to live a normal life with their ever present taunting and titillation. It's torture, and my friends are tortured. I might as well be on fire right now. We all should be on fire. We are burning men, burning with rage and desire from the torment they have wrought unto us. This is our foundation, this is our temple. Ansel Adams (a member) had Yosemite Valley, but alas, we only have you, and fire. This is our church. Johnny, you must set us on fire. Set us on fire now, Johnny. Fire now, Johnny, please. Burning, Johnny, burning with...with fire. Please, I beg of you. Only in this way will we be at peace and attain oneness with the sacred. I must rub down the black leather robe with pomade and cook it in the sun and wear it over my nude body and walk close to the huge.....FIRE. Sweating inside with anger and pain. Do you understand, Johnny Cash? This is our life. We are on fire now. Bless us with hot hair oil before it is too late. I need to be rubbed down with tabasco sauce and lard and left in the sun for hours. That sounds like fire to me. Is that fire, Johnny? What is fire, Johnny? Do you like watching fire? The large flames, or just the glowing embers? Why? What is this fascination, and what does it accomplish? Surely there must be a better way to spend time than to while away the hours just staring into a grotesque, burning mass. I want life Johnny. Is there life in a song? Or do you just sing it and let it fade into the night? These are the questions that I ask far into the night, and, even as she sleeps, I am reaching into the depths of my soul to see if I can find the bottom, for without the bottom, there is nowhere to stand, just falling, and floating, and....FIRE! I will be contacting you again, so I suggest you archive this for reference.

- Charlie Davidson
pointer to the right